Flu Epidemic 2018

15 Jan

I’m wondering if we are in an epidemic?  If we were would we be told? What did we do back in the day when we couldn’t binge tv during an illness? I do remember soap operas.  I wish I could sleep better when I’m sick.  All the cough syrup says it’s night time but it works opposite on me. I really need some of the ol’ Codeine stuff. Not happening.  The shows I have watched are Black Mirror-totally creepy, Jerry Seinfeld Comedians going for coffee-really great and made me wish I would have tried harder to be a stand up comic, Before I Wake movie, The End of the F#$*+; world-totally weird. Tomorrow I may need to watch something more uplifting.

Puppies came home this afternoon totally out of sorts from being boarded. Daddy and puppies all ready in bed asleep. I guess no cuddles for me.

Read article on a couple and how they reacted to missle  threat in Hawaii. They reacted a lot on how I think I would but not sure.  Wonder if I would have felt paralyzed, or would I have the need to save others, or would I have been calling family members, would I decided this might be a good time to fall off the wagon, would I grab Denny and puppies and find and drive to some famous cave, or would we and meet our demise while playing golf?  I just don’t know.

This is short and sweet just trying to get out of my head. Best advice I am getting is to stay inside.



Let’s talk the flu/cold/pneumonia/what is this but it is kind of scary

14 Jan

Many of you know that I have the crud because I’ve been whining about it on FB. I am home now in my recliner feeling rather gross.

I am someone who hates nasal stuff-people blowing noses, people coughing up stuff-people sniffing-nose picking, etc……..Now I am making all those gross noises and it is making me sick. This may sound weird but if Denny is sick with cold and doing all the gross stuff, I sometimes have to take a valium so I can handle it. I know, I am a bitch but it is one of those sensory things. Sorrrrry. But what else is really gross is the deep cough makes my bladder work when I didn’t know I had to go!!! GROSS. It’s reality I know. The deep coughing also causes another issue at times but I won’t go there because I’m really trying not to but really would like to talk about but I won’t.

I have had a fever a couple of times during the last 4 days and it literally made me delerious.  The first fever we were leaving the motel in Green Valley and I didn’t know where my passport was. Denny says “you put it away” and I start crying and coughing and say “no I didn’t”.  Denny calmly just looks in a couple of bags and finds it and then I’m okay and I go to sleep in the back seat. DO NOT BE SICK AND TRAVELING IN WESTERN TEXAS BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING OUT THERE. DO NOT GET MAJOR STOMACH CRAMPS IN WESTERN TEXAS BECAUSE YOU WILL END UP ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD CRYING AND DOING WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO AND THEN GETTING IN THE BACKSEAT AND CRYING AND ARE SERIOUSLY PRAYING TO GOD THAT THE HOLIDAY INN IN OZONA IS ON THE HORIZON. The next morning  during another fever I got upset trying to remember if I had bought travel insurance for my upcoming cruise which is January 21.  This was yesterday morning as we were leaving Ozona Texas. I tearfully call my friend Judy to see if she can check on this issue for me because she owns a cruise business. After that Denny comes to the back seat and tells me to please calm down, covers me with blanket and Judy texts me to tell that I do have the insurance and once again I can relax and go to sleep. Denny is also not feeling great yet he is still able to calm me and drive these horrific miles and I’m just a useless human being. Some day I will be able to make up for all of this hell he goes through with me. I will make him a cherry pie!!!!!

My poor Mom with this cough, I don’t know how she hasn’t broken every rib in her little body.  She was in the hospital for 2 days but is back at her place and being taken care of. I did have another weepy moment last night because I was trying to book a flight to see her in February. I knew I had a credit so I had to talk to someone from American Airlines on the phone. She wanted the cancelled flight number, the locator number, I couldn’t find the email with that stupid info and started crying. I said “can’t you just please find the info more, I just cancelled the flight last week, “cough cough, wheeze wheeze” and voila she says “let me see if I can get that info” she got the new flight reserved with my big $75 credit.

Okay, I’m tired, binging Jerry Seinfeld “Comedians having coffee” or something. At least it is cheerful and not the little boy who couldn’t ever sleep because his nightmares killed his loved ones that I watched last night.

To everyone who is going through this illness-many blessings, get well soon, rest, fluids, antibiotics, inhalers, cough meds, whatever gives you some peace.


Where is the compassion

11 Jan

As we head out a few days early due to my cough and Mom being in the hospital some thoughts came racing into my head.

Why do airlines, motels, cruise lines, and anything else that says non refundable get away with that?  We asked the hotel yesterday if we could get 3 days return of money due to me being sick. He said of course, but…..no you booked through Bookit.com. I think I still have a chance on a refund but we’ll see on that. Then last week I had to change flight due to my mistake regarding cruise departure time. I lost $200 in that fiasco. Where does an airline have that right?  We all know my seat is going to be filled.  When my brother died last year I had to cancel a $600 flight. I received $400 and thankfully I did get the $200 back but I had to get the ORIGINAL death certificate and mail it to them before I received my $200 loss. I know this place we are staying could care less if I am sick but how is giving me 150 dollars back going to ruin them. When we owned the RV park we would have campers come in, have an illness in the family, they would become ill, RV breakdowns etc. and we would give their money back in a heartbeat. How could you look someone in the eye and say “oops, sorry but no refund for you!”  I understand some things need to have firm requirements regarding deposits. Art classes, quilt retreats, medical appointments, etc. Once we were driving through Alaska in the middle of it burning up and were delayed returning to CO. I had given a $500 deposit for an art class and gave a 7 week notice and totally lost every penny and they required an 8 week refund time.

So what has me riled up is sometimes you can’t help what life is giving you!!!!  There are probably people in California whose homes are ruined and they had a trip planned and they could be out hundreds or thousands of dollars due to these refund restrictions.

Look what happened to stranded travelers during the last horrible snow storm.

Thank you Desert Diamond for giving me a refund with no penalties when I booked a gas station casino.

Okay I’m done ranting. Going to the office to see about refund one more time and if it is “No refund for you,” I’ll just say “Namaste  Bitches” and we’ll be in our way.



New Years Day 2018

1 Jan

To all of you I wish you the best year to come. I know there will be joy, sadness, passings, new babies, scary news, good news.

I always like to reflect on what I learned from the last year.

  1. To have the opportunity to be a business woman. It made me a stonger woman, maybe a little smarter but I am still unable to add. It was fun to have my own little shop and learn to sew items that customers liked. We feel blessed to have sold the park and are happy for them.
  2. To be able to be in business with my husband and succeed. It made us a stonger couple together. We had to learn how to communicate and work through issues together.
  3. I found I am still too sensitive to comments which I take too personally. After my retreat I do feel I am doing better with that.
  4. I do still find the need to have some type of job or opportunity to continue working. Hopefully my sewing ideas will fill this void.

Lastly, I hope I will incorporate meditation techniques, readings, exercise, and eating into my routine. During the retreat a couple of things happened. I found myself being a little angry at my Dad who passed away in 2008.  Nothing serious just sometimes thoughts come through. My friend Ginny was helping pack items in the house in October and we were making a Goodwill pile. I put these 2 hand carved sand piper birds in the pile. They used to be in my parents house and I knew my Dad really liked them. Ginny was about to leave and I decided to take the birds back. Forward to my retreat and Ventura Beach. Our first activity was to go find a place to sit in the sand to meditate and be still. The first 2 things I saw were 2 sand pipers running around in the waves. Then they were gone and I never saw them again in the next 5 hours I was there. I took that as a sign, maybe an apology, maybe that he is watching over me, whatever I no longer have that anger.

Another exercise we had was to bury thoughts of anger, sadness, distrust, etc. in the sand. I dug a hole and used items such as rocks, driftwood, seaweed and buried these thoughts deep. I laid down on the warm sand and closed my eyes. Thinking, praying, breathing, then I opened my eyes and I was looking straight up at the sky. There was a blue that I  had never seen before. Although the day had wispy clouds and a grayish blue, this blue was brilliant, happy, stunning, exciting. I kept blinking and it kept being there. Sadly I had to remove myself from the sand and the beach and when I got up to walk to the group, I looked up at the top of the sky and that blue wasn’t there anymore. I was definitely in some kind of mental euphoria that made me feel very happy. I have continued to have a better peace of the heart and soul.

It’s very cold and blustery here today. We had such a good time at the New Years dance and I so enjoyed being in Denny’s arms for 2 slow dances. I had fun dancing with girlfriends which I never do. Mike and Steph left today to get settled into their place on S Padre. Had so much fun with them as they stayed with us for 2 days.I am nestled in my recliner with blankies and binging on The Crown.  I LOVE IT!!!!




Almost 20 years!!!

30 Dec

New Year’s Eve of 2017 will be our 20th anniversary. How lucky was I that on my 3rd try that I would marry the kindest, sweetest, and most loving man in the whooolllllleeeee world. Denny and I knew each other during my biker phase of life. He owned Topeka Harley Davidson and in the late 70’s, early 80’s I knew him through many Harley events.

Now, forward to 1994.  I had been divorced and sober since 1986. Unfortunately my choice in men continued to cause me much distress at times to the point I had to get some serious help for the issue. After spending a month at a facility in Arizona, I came home to be a stronger woman, a better mother (much to my 2 children’s dismay) and grow up. I spent a year working on myself, thankfully with the help of medication and  truly the best friends in the world,  I was able to do that. I didn’t date for a year. During the Christmas season of 1994, I worked at the Harley kiosk in the mall. One day, Denny was there. Now remember, I have spent thousands of dollars changing my ways regarding how I would behave around men. Sooooo, Denny and I are talking and he told me that he had been divorced for about a year and a half!!!! I was like “WHAT”.  “WAS THAT IN THE NEWSPAPER??” “WHY AIN’T WE GOING OUT!!! I am using my outside voice. Denny’s face turned bright read and he walked around the other side of the kiosk and didn’t talk to me rest of the day.

I sobbed for days, I told my therapist I was moving to AZ and she said “I think that would be a good idea!” ( She was sick of me I guess). It was a lonely and sad Christmas and New Year’s. I couldn’t believe I acted the way I did when I was trying so hard. He came by a place I worked to bring me my paycheck around Christmas. Could I keep my mouth shut??? Nooooo.  I said “if you ever want to see a movie or go have a bite to eat give me a call”..He said “Maybe after the first of the year”. I was mortified, can I not keep my mouth shut!!! More sobbing, spent New Year’s Eve alone with a stupid jigsaw puzzle. Definitely moving to AZ.  Went to therapy on Jan 2 and yammered about all of this once again. I went home and there was a message on my answering maching. “Hello, this is Denny and I was wondering if you would like to go out Saturday night”.  Of course I did and the rest is history.

We have had an incredible life. Many turmoils, many moves, early retirement and then 2 more businesses. Motorcycle trips, dirt bike adventures, bicycling across country, living in motorhome, dealing with many family issues. He totally supports me 100% in my many endeavors which are too many to name. We totally support each other although he does way too much for me that at times I wonder if I do anything useful at all! To have a person who totally accepts for my mental issues, my hair issues, my crazy ideas, my need to be busy, and to also sit me down and help me get centered.

Looking forward to another 20!! I so love you Denny Patterson.

Yucky Bumps

28 Dec

Just home from Bingo. I actually won but had to split 3 ways out of an $8.50 pot. $3 pays me back for what I lost at Mahjong yesterday!

Productive day kind of. Did get my sewing and embroidery machines hooked up and my boxes unpacked and fabric and patterns organized. Also my last box showed up.  Yay.

Had new “Click Clack” delivered today. That’s what they call a futon here. It does make click clack sound when you unfold it.

Speaking of yucky bumps, I have some kind of break out happening on my back and I don’t know what is causing it. The only change I have made is vitamins. Denny keeps telling me I need to go to Mexico and see my dermatologist Dr. Carlos.  Talk about McDreamy!!. I am actually using some medicine cream he gave me last year but I’m not sure it is the right stuff. The bumps really hurt. YUCK!! Photo of Dr Carlos.


Now, am I being hypocritical discussing this handsome doctor and instead of talking about his handsome looks, I should be talking about what a great doctor he is and he really is! I must ponder this issue.

Denny may be coming down with the crud that is going around all around the country. He doesn’t think he is but as I hear him cough it doesn’t sound too great. I hope not because we head to Puerto Penasco next Friday for a week. Mike and Steph are coming in on Sunday for the night. We’ll celebrate our 20th anniversary and play golf and attend a New year’s eve gathering while they are here. The weather may or may not be great. It’s was really cold again today, not quite as bad as other parts, but cold for our area. I definitely did not bring enough warm clothes.

Have found my little drum and meditation info so let the meditating begin. Today I did 14 jumping jacks in slow motion and did a fast walk with puppies which got my heart rate up a little. We are watching the Fire Fighters series on Netflix. The women prisoners who are training to be fire fighters did 14 jumping jacks as their exercise so I thought why not!!

Ohhh Em Geee  Have a big issue trying to update our navigation on our jeep.  A real pain and I spent 2 hours today with no success. I will try again tomorrow and will call the customer service but it is hard to describe what I have going on. Hopefully tomorrow I can be less edgy dealing with it.

Okay, that’s it. Peace.  Thank you Billie for taking some hand warmers and feet warmers to help the outside people!! Also thank you Becky H for offering to help too.


Just Tidbits

27 Dec

Do you think it is wrong to say you are not going to watch the news, read the news or listen to the news for a while because you feel totally helpless to do anything that would matter? That I feel so privileged to have a warm place, a save place, food, people in my life. Have you ever imagined what it truly must feel like to be living in a refuge camp? A village that is wiped out by mass killings. How is it that there is so much disparity(?) in the world. I have a strong belief in Jesus but sometimes it has to take more than prayer to help those in these dire situations. I am going to do one thing. It’s very cold in Topeka and there is a man who helps with the outside people. One of the men he checks on ended up in the hospital last night with frostbite.  Hand warmers, feet warmers, hats, gloves, socks scarves. Going to put some in the mail tomorrow. Topekans, let me know if you would like to help this mission. It is not through the Rescue Mission, through someone who else. You can actually drop off items at a place.

Watching MTV Rock Block, old videos. Just watched a documentary on Rush.  “Subdivisions”. It’s a good way to veg out. I still love long hair on guys. A couple of guys I dated had hair all the way to their waist! When I was at an Independent living place last week, there was an older gentleman with his white hair in a ponytail. Don’t think I can get Denny to let his hair grow that long. 🙂

It’s blustery and chilly here today and tomorrow. At night I like sitting in my woman cave and listen to the wind blowing through the pine trees. Tomorrow is ladies golf and I am passing because of it being too cold at 8 am. I will finish setting up sewing area and we will get our new futon tomorrow. Its a cool one because it really looks like a sofa. I have some cool fabric with elephants on it to make some pillow. We also received our new refrig today thankfully. Have been using a cooler since Friday. It’s in a little precarious position because it sticks out. I see at least 1 broken toe in my future.

Feeling a little nervous about not receiving my last box of my stuff I mailed from Colorado. Received 4 boxes. Really not sure if we had 5 and I couldn’t remember what all I packed in them anyway. Called Mitzi to find a few things that I need and forgot. She went over there today and found everything and will put in the mail tomorrow. Great friend! I did have a major shock that only my Mahjong friends will understand. Today was Mahjong day and I picked up my set and checked if I had everything. My tiles were all upside down in the case, no money purse, no table cover, no 2017 card!!!!! Have no idea where those things are. My Mahjong Mojo was bad today but we did laugh a lot. One thing I will work on in 2018 is not talking as loud and laughing too loud. I can’t tell you the stink eye I have gotten over the years from unsuspecting people when I someone tells me something really funny and I burst out laughing. We will see how it goes.

Speaking of 2108, this is the best I have felt emotionally at the end of a year. Usually I am so ready for the year to be over, and this year I feel happy and guess this seems weird since I started this post on such a down note. Maybe my bipolar stuff is sneaking up on me. Who knows. I am on my medication. 🙂

We are going to go see the Greatest Showman tomorrow. Anxiously awaiting “I, Tonya”, “The Post” and some scary movie that is coming out. Unfortunately in Brownsville I have to see scary movies by myself. What is up with no one wanting to see them with me???

One last thing. I have ordered the book called 4×4 or something like that. It’s Erin Oprea, or something like that. It’s food and it’s exercises that look like I can do. I’m really an exercise DVD and healthy cook book hoarder that I purchase with very good intentions. Mayble I’ll follow through with this one because I just need a mat. I did use my styrofoam roller on my thighs and hamstrings today and yesterday I hung upside down on a table and it really loosened my back after golf.

Okay that’s enough blabbing. Peace and Out