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Day 6 of Chapter 1

3 Nov

First day of retreat. We began at 9 am and there are 15 of us. We are lucky that we have a harpist and a musician who can play many instruments. Music and movements were a big part of our work today. Of course relaxing our bodies, breathing, loosening up some tai chi moves and learning about different ways to walk and also chase away our demons!!

Of course I had to start the day on a difficult note. All I had to do was write my name on a label to put on my shirt. First I took it off of the paper so when I laid it on the container to write my name, it stuck to the container. I thought I could still salvage it but to no avail so my name tag went all around the room stuck on the box. But the good thing is everyone knew my name easily!

After the meet and greet we went up to the OJai Retreat which is up the mountain and is a very beautiful and peaceful place. We gathered around in a big circle and began practicing different ways to face our issues. We did dance moves which was uncomfortable for me at first but then I became less self conscious. We had different partners for exercises so it was a good way to get to know each other.

One funny thing happened. I was telling a Bendi story about how I have to carry her around like a baby when she gets scared. When I was done talking the group told me my toes were talking with me!! Never knew my toes moved when I talked like my arms do. We always have our shoes off.

We also did an exercise where we are blindfolded for 20 minutes. That was kind of weird at first but we were to test our senses. At first I was very anxious and breathing fast, then I had a humongous hot flash and couldn’t get my scarf, blanket and hoodie off fast enough, then I had to pee and fart. So that was the extent of my exercise. Not sure if I learned anything from that.

Had a wonderful massage with Autumn who is also from Colorado. She showed me how to gently place my hands on my tummy and breathe into my organs to help these IBS issues. I am to place my hands on my tummy in the morning and breathe and think positive about my organs. Right now tummy feels pretty good which makes me happy. I am drinking water and eating veggies and fruit today.

Tomorrow is beach day. It will be very chilly so I have about 6 things of clothing to take so I’m not cold. Apparently the water is cold and there is an undertow so we don’t get in. We’ll spend about 6 hours there. I do hope the sun will be out so at least there might be some warmth. This is a weird chill here, the kind that just keeps you feeling chilly no matter what.

Denny had a good day of roaming around the area, played golf and laundry. Tomorrow he is going to the gym and check out some other activities.

That’s it for now. Peace and Namaste  A year ago Judy and I were heading to India on our great adventure!

I’ll try to have more photos tomorrow, my silly phone ran out of juice quickly today.

 

 

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Day 5 of Chapter 1

1 Nov

All snuggled into our Casa Ojai Inn for 5 nights. I love this Ojai area. Mountainy, rural, but chic and they are having a film festival here this weekend. May have to check one out.

We left Casa Grande at 7 am. I had a horrible night after drinking the laxative mixture they gave me at the ER. I hated needing to go there last night but it all was getting too painful to endure. But the worst part??????? Coming back to hotel with a gigantic diaper on and having to have a hand towel in my pants for traveling today. OMG! I am so turning 65.  But on the good side it was a brilliant idea. Luckily our hospital was just across the street from the motel. Interesting ER. The take your vitals while you are checking in!. You sit at the desk and the nurse is taking your temp, blood pressure, and oxygen while you are giving your information. Then we went back to the beds. They had me drink that stuff, gave me a cat scan and the only reason we were there so long was it took forever for stuff to work. My poor hubby, but he did have his book. He was so sweet because he totally could have made fun of me in the diaper which was so weird looking.

Traveling went pretty well today, one screwy stop when we didn’t find a gas station and then when we turned around the entrance ramp to the interstate was closed, but gps figured it out.

We had such a good time in Naco. Loved staying at the Copper Queen. A grand old hotel and right in the middle of Bisbee. Great visit with Laura and then dinner with them Sunday night. Also watched the exciting world series game with them. Golf at 10 with the girls, Janet, Nan and Laura and Denny played with a foursome. My game was not at it’s best but was still fun. Crazy grasshopper plague going on. I must study up on what kind of hoppers they were. After lunch with them all, we headed toward Casa Grande. If I had felt better I definitely would stopped at a casino. We were going to head toward California on Tuesday but decided it was best I stay in place another day to get stomach issues taken care of. Booooo Hisss

Once we arrived at Ojai, we cleaned up and unpacked. We had worn the same clothes for 2 days. Yuck. We were smart packers this trip and each had a little bag to bring into the stops so we didn’t have to bring in big bags. This is the first time that plan has actually worked for us because I generally always need something out of the big suitcases. So now we just came home from dinner at a Thai place that was sooooo yummy. After not eating since Monday I was really hungry and ate too much but it was veggies, shrimp. My new diet must have limited meat and tons of veggies and fruits and water. Maybe this last ER visit will be my wake up call. One can hope. We met most of the ladies involved with the retreat. Several from Colorado, one from Texas and the others from California. We start tomorrow at 9 am and there is an actual Ojai retreat center. Should be very interesting and I hope helpful for my mental state and sense of well being.

I so miss Jumper and Bendi!!! I really miss Bendi’s energy. Auntie Ruth is enjoying them.

That’s it for now. I love Pacific time zone. The weather is mild. Denny has scouted out a golf course. Plenty of walking paths for him plus he’ll hang out and read and just chill.

Do you ever wonder how you would handle being the last batter at the end of a ball game or the pitcher brought in the last inning? I don’t know how their nerves do it.

I’ll let you know how the retreat goes tomorrow.

Peace to all but not to these predators that continue to crop up.

Did you know that the grandparents of Cody Bellinger used to stay at our park!!

Day 1 of New Chapter

28 Oct

All snuggled in at the Hampton Suites in Albuquerque.  Denny already asleep and I’m awake since I slept for 1 1/2 hours while he drove. I drove to Pueblo and back to finish up my Tuffet stool this morning. I love love love.

tuffet

We left home about 3:30. The house is a wreck but we have managed to move quite a bit of small stuff. Ginny spent the day with me yesterday and we totally packed up the kitchen. Unfortunately we moved too much and Denny was looking for many cooking utensils. 🙂

Of course we always have to have some drama before we travel. Denny told me Thursday morning that he had some very bad news for me. I’m like “oh no someone has died”. Instead he told me had a hernia. He has moved so many things for the last 3 weeks it doesn’t surprise me. Anyway, off to the ER to get it checked out. The DR said he thought it was okay to travel and just keep eye on it, (I’m not looking at it) and then he’ll have surgery when we get back. Of course  someone was supposed to call us about appt. before we left but they didn’t. Then we have my stomach issue which has not really resolved, but is better at this moment. Eating soft foods and taking IBGard and Miralax. I seriously need some things to happen. Had an ultra sound which  showed nothing, but I spent Wednesday up to 4 am thinking I either was having a heart attack or gall bladder. It’s maddening.  There is a possibility that I will qualify for a study regarding Acid Reflux. I’m taking Prilosec twice a day for 2 months and then I have an endoscopy on December 15 to see if I will qualify.

What I truly hope is that my spiritual retreat later this week will help relieve some issues I have boiling inside of me. Anger, resentment, hate, confusion, and soooo much stress. Since March, my emotions have been so over the top and then add the park and all the work and selling it and disgruntled campers and mean Nail Tech instructor, and concussion and hemorrhaged eyeball and IBS flare up, it’s been too much. The good news is that I did get full refund from school and I have talked to my friends at school and they say that the instructor is being much nicer, so maybe I did a little bit of good regarding that issue.

Of course, all of this sexual harassment that is bubbling and is going to totally explode is pissing me off.  Soooo many women and so much disrespect.  Finally people are believing what happened. It’s sickening. It brings back memories everyday of being fondled by a boss, a rape, physical abuse, it’s exhausting. I am working on a quilt that I hope will bring some closure for my personal issues but also address it. How did a man get elected President who is a sexual predator. How can Bill Clinton stand on stage earlier in the week raising money for hurricane relief and not be called out. How unfair for Monica Lewinsky. All the blame put on her. Then have senior Bush be known as a man who touched women’s butts. Give me a fucking break. Where does it stop. Are men listening and learning. Are parents teaching their young and older girls about how inappropriate being treated this way is wrong, wrong and not to be afraid to tell someone.

I look back at my life. Did I flirt with bosses?  I did have one affair with one but not to get a promotion or anything just had the affair. I spent many years in dark rooms running cameras for printing companies. A dark room can be very romantic and enticing. My dad was strict with how tight my jeans would be and many times I was told to  take back what I bought and told to get a size bigger, but he didn’t seem to mind short skirts and dresses. I know that just because we have something on that may be provocative or if we have had too much to drink or if we were being just friendly and talking to men does not mean that gives anyone the right to accost us. I have creepy memories of being on the city bus and having old men ogling me. I was only 10 and was certainly not being provocative. Okay enough of this.

Denny and I are celebrating the selling of the park, moving into a new home and hopefully some new adventures. Some observations regarding our relationship while being around each 24 /7 for 7 months each of the last 5 years. I believe we are closer than we ever were before. I think we both have a new respect for each other on how well we worked together. The first year was super crazy and we would get in some arguments. My way to fight was to totally not talk about it  or talk to him. The first month of being open we realized that we had to be open about our disagreements so we could move on. We didn’t have time to be working against each other. I soooooo admire Denny on how hard he worked everyday. I say that when the reviews would say “such friendly owners and such a clean park and bathrooms”, that I was the friendly and he was the clean. Actually the park fit both of our personalities. It’s bittersweet because we did make many friends that we will probably still see on our travels. The sad thing was over Labor Day the long timers became very disgruntled about the new owners and prices be raised, etc. I didn’t like that some of them discussed the issues with people they knew in town and the next thing I knew all sorts of negativity was going around about the park. This is very detrimental in a small town. I was sooooo pissed. I was going to write letters and send a letter to the editor and call the people that I knew had been yacking around town. But then…..I became still. I said to myself “the new owners are adults, they can handle all these issues, let go of the park J.” A peace came over me and I have been able to leave things well enough alone.

Sooooo. onward we go. It will still be a little hectic when we get home since we still need to move furniture and clean the house, then get somewhat settled in the new house, then go to Topeka and Arkansas and then come back home and then finally head to Brownsville mid December. I can’t wait to get there. January begins my year of girlfriend and couples trips for my 65th year. So far I have a quilt cruise and girls golf outing and a quilt trail along with visiting friends in Indiana. I have a Judith Montano class with three friends and a Ricky Tims retreat with my buddies from England and a few others. It’s actually a reunion retreat which will be way cool. And on top of that I am enrolled in Medicare!!!!

Peace everyone   I will definitely be blogging more and may actually start writing my book. We shall see. There is a side of me which is wondering if I can just be still for a month. Not think about making items, writing a book, learning a new project?. Can I just hang out, play golf, relax by the pool, read a book,  walk and walk? It freaks me out when I think about it but maybe the retreat will help me do that.

 

Thursday morning Ramblings

28 Sep

September has been one of the strangest months I have ever had. It started out on a high note. Labor Day weekend. We introduced the new owners to the campers in the park. We raffled off the Childrens Library quilt. We had a musical concert. The park was full. Really great all the way around.

Then, the seasonals began grumbling. They don’t like what is happening with the park. They  are going somewhere else. This is fine until I find out that they are talking to people in the town about this. Anyone who knows about small town life, this is a huge mistake. I have been guilty about talking about business rumors and will not do it anymore. Just the other day a camper came in and told me she had heard that the new owners were raising the prices so much that all the seasonals were leaving. (So not true) This man who was telling the story was from Texas and this camper heard him talking about it in a local store. You can imagine how mad I was when I heard this. But, it was also a turning point for me. It’s time to let go of the park. We had to deal with rumors and seasonals when we bought the park and deal with a severe drought and the West Peak fire. The new owners will be able to handle all of this too.

I also started going to Nail Tech school in August 4 days a week in Pueblo. Getting up at 5 am and home around 1, a quick nap then working in the office. I so enjoyed doing this. #1 It was an escape for me from all the park nonsense. #2 I loved the students. Beautiful high school girls and 1 guy who walked an hour a day just to get to school. I enjoyed listening to their lives as we practiced on each others nails and toenails. And…it was going to be great little career in La Veta and Texas. The only issue was the instructor who was passive/aggressive and very short with us when it came to asking questions or asking for help. I was a big girl and tried to not let it get to me but it certainly pushed a lot of buttons. Two weeks ago, I woke up with a hemmorhaged eye. After a trip to the ER Denny drove me to school because I had 2 appointments at 8 and 9. During the 9 am manicure, I was shaking a bottle of polish and it flew out of my hand and spilled all over the floor. Normally, I would have laughed and took care of it. But..when I told the instructor what happend, “hoping there was a mop or something”, she yelled “you better get it cleaned up”. I asked how and again she yelled “a rag and polish remover”. Now I’m on my hands and knees scrubbing th floor for 10 minutes while my client is waiting for her manicure. I was mortified and embarrassed. The room was full of clients and the instructor sat at her desk rather than help me with this mess. After I went home I began thinking about the whole episode and really got upset. Denny and I talked and thought the best thing to do was to drop the class because it was not worth this type of treatment. (I was not the only one being treated this way.) I went to the college and talked to numerous staff including the Dean. I did all that was asked of me and yesterday I was told I would receive a total refund. I’m glad I stayed with it because I went through so many emotions after emailing the instructor and trying not to think that they were all making fun of me or that I was making something out of nothing. That’s how one is made to feel when they have been humilitated and the stand up for themselves.

Next incident was that the sale of the park fell through. Oh my God.  This happens 2 days after the school incident. Denny and I just looked at each other and said, “well I guess we are working next year!” Thankfully the sale of the park was back on that next Thursday, but another emotional week. We are now busy with the last few weeks of the park which is surprisingly our busiest. Looking forward to my quilt retreat next week and Oktoberfest.

Now comes the special parts of these last few weeks. Coming into the office and finding painted rocks with Love, Hope Courage painted by a friend who had stayed with us all summer. Coming into the office and a camper who I didn’t know leaving me a bracelet made out of dried potatoes. Very cool. Hearing from my classmates on a day that I was actually crying over what had happened at school and them telling me how much they missed me and wanted me to come back. Going to church and feeling desperate and leaving feeling strong. The message was “be still, I am with you”. The presence of God in my life this entire season has been the strongest I have ever felt but more so in September. There was a lady who I called to talk about these park issues and she told me her story and then said she would be on her knees for me that night. The next day another scary issue we had happened was resolved. We have received so may nice cards, comments and kind goodbyes that it can be overwhelming.

Be still, let go of the park, enjoy life, love each other, respect each other, be kind to each other. In a few weeks we are driving to California. I will be attending a spiritual retreat to soothe my soul and heart and brain. I can’t wait. Denny will be treating his golf game and reading. We don’t close until Dec. 7 and off to Texas we will go. We really like the new owners and it will be exciting to see their new adventure happen.

I also really want to go to Puerto Rico and help rebuild in the future. I am so sad about what has happened and the lack of transportation to get supplies. When I was first in Junior College I was going to be a spanish speaking nurse and move to Puerto Rico. Unfortunately alcohol, drugs and boys detered from that dream, but maybe I can go and be helpful.

Peace

 

Tuesday, Aug 8 2017

8 Aug

Just home from AA meeting and now settled in for my guilty pleasure show of Dance Moms. I cannot believe that I have watched this show for like 7 years. I really like watching the dancing. I think I wish I would have taken dance classes. It is so boring to go to dances and Denny and I sit there looking like a couple of doe doe birds. One can’t do everything even though I do try.
Lots of stuff going on. Some of you may know this but we are in the process of selling the RV park. So far everything is on schedule to close on December 7. We have also bought a home here in La Veta. For those of you who visited us when we lived here before, we are now just around the bend from there. We have 360 degree view of the mountains. I will try to take some photos this weekend. So….on top of working Denny has been making some repairs and we can now talk about new owners coming in next year to our campers. It is rather bittersweet. We have made friends with many of our customers but I think we can stay in touch. I definitely need to make some new business cards to be passing out.
Now for my next news. I am desperately trying to get into Manicure/Nail Tech school in Pueblo. I actually have a job, a salon and clientale for next summer. I will know Monday if I can get into the program so trying to stay calm about it until then. If it doesn’t work out, then I’m going to go online with my sewing/embroidery business. We shall see!!
Tomorrow Jessica and her family will be coming in with her family for a couple of days of dirt biking. I hope the rain holds off some so everything won’t be so slippery. The monsoons have been nice but it definitely cuts into afternoon outings for the campers. I have never seen big trees grow so much. The limbs just keep getting bigger and bigger and hanging lower to the ground.
Our friends Jerry and Deb are coming in Saturday from Illinois to hang out for a few days and then on Tuesday we’ll all go to Denver to play in the annual Swinging for AIDS golf tournament. It will be fun to see them but since Dale and Terry are gone we won’t be able to do much running around but we hope to golf and go to Alys for dinner on Sunday night.I have a new golf swing that is really making my shots much better. It’s called the “Vicky Tit Squeeze” swing. Deb’s friend used to swing that way and since she has passed away we will honor her by naming the swing after her. :))
Tomorrow will be a fun day. My friend Karen and I are going to a Batik class. I plan on doing a Kolam which is an Indian design. Can’t wait to do it.
I am making these placemats for a silent auction and no have orders for 14 more. I am on a desperate hunt to find the fabric since I need lots of yards. I have spent hours online searching for it and have only come up with 1 1/2 yards. Yikes.


I am loving our perennial garden. It has been so rainy that it has flourished. I must go outside and actually sketch it out and do a painting!! I must!!
Business has been superb and still pretty busy. We still have full weekends but not so much during the week. I had a mother/daughter from France in last night who were tent camping around the country! It has been amazing to have campers from all over the world in these last five years. My shop is pretty busy. The new favorites are my colorful tee towels and hand towels and of course the bowl holders. I just ordered some sweatshirts as it is beginning to cool off and it will be time to have some of those embroidered.
I think that is it for now. Have missed writing. I also need to print out all of my posts beginning in 2011 I think. One of the things to do before we move. I also printed out a list of 116 things to throw away. That might help with my sorting.
Peace everyone

2 for 0 regarding Scary Movies

14 Jun

Mitzi and I are struggling with getting to a good scary movie. We went to see “It comes at Night”. We never did figure out what came at night, never figured out where the disease came from and never did jump once!! We judge the movies on jumps. It was still a fun trip to Pueblo anyway.

Pat and John came by for a quick visit during their Colorado travels. They are our buddies from Brownsville. They are the strongest couple I know. Their daughter and granddaughter were the women killed in the balloon accident last July. Pat did say she received lots of calls from state politicians regarding the accident and changes in Balloon Safety regulations. Its all about the FAA taking some steps. Always fun to see them and they were happy to be out of the awful Texas heat. It has been warm here but not overwhelming. Denny has the swamp cooler running, (l love living somewhere that we need a swamp cooler!)

Today was day 3 of recovering from cow rustling injury Saturday night. It was kind of funny. We had a motorcyclist come in around 9 pm. He said “I needed to get off the highway so I wouldn’t hit a deer. So he drove through La Veta and immediately had 3 deer walk in front of him. Next I hear this really loud cowbell in the park. The motorcyclist came and got me and said “I think there is a moose in the park”. Not likely but there was a cow!! It had a harness and rope attached. I’m thinking I’m holding to a big dog but in reality it was a 1000 lb animal. She didn’t like being held and jerked me clear off of my feet. OUCH!! I felt my brain rattle immediately. There were some cowboys in the park and I discovered this is like a cowboy injury and that I was whiplashed. Felt very out of it on Sunday and when I couldn’t figure out my reservations on Monday and was crying, I thought I better get to the ER. Let’s mark this up to another of my very weird injuries. My brain feels less foggy today but I am trying not to  overdo thinking. 🙂 Luckily Terry worked today so I had a computer break. Did you know that to recover from a concussion you must rest, stay off of the computer and computer games, not watch a bunch of tv and not go outside with out sunglasses on. Therefore I have not played Candy Crush Soda since Sunday!!!!!It’s all about keeping your brain unstimulated. Denny has kept a good eye on me and has been great. I can’t believe he checked in 19 campers while I was at the emergency room!!

I am missing one of my wigs. We can’t find it anywhere. I’m bad about falling asleep on the divan and taking it off, but it is usually easy to find. Tomorrow we’ll look under the divans and hoping one of the dogs didn’t hide it! PS. the wig was found crammed behind our head board. Can’t blame that on the dogs.

I must say the rv business is seriously booming. We have already been full several days and that doesn’t usually happen until July. Lots of tenters this year and Baby and Yuki have been very busy. Campers from all over the world. Soooo cool.

As usual I’m way behind in sewing projects but may get caught up in a few days? We will beginning out fundraising for our local library and the children’s program. My friend Carol finished the Amy Bradley camping quilt and it is so bright and fun. We are taking donations for: $1, 6 tickets for $5, 12 for $10 and 25 tickets for $20 and so on. Call me or send donation to PO Box 122, La Veta, CO  81055

donationqult

Curious about how gun laws may change now that a Representative has been shot. That would be sad if it took actually attack on politicians to actually make a change.

Finally was able to play one round of Mahjong. I had a couple of friends come down and play last week. Now we have to wait for everyone to arrive for the summer to have a regular weekly session.

Tomorrow we’ll have our first sewing Thursday. I think I’ll have a few ladies attend. If not I’ll have plenty of projects to do.

Struggling with a few people issues but guess what. After a vent or 2 I just tell myself “nope” and the obsessive thought goes away. I’m not saying I don’t have to say it a few times maybe a day, but it is working. Praying and turning issues over really does seem to be working. Pretty soon I’ll be able to tell how powerful Miracle Morning really is!!!!! But I can’t say anything yet,

I hope everyone has a good week! Peace

June 4, 2017

4 Jun

It’s a nice Sunday afternoon.  I started my day by going to church. It was special because one of my girlfriends grandson was baptized.  He was so cute splashing the baptismal water with his hands. I also saw my dear friend Marilyn for the first time since her husband Bob died. We loved him so much and our special memory was when he went to Gulfport on a church mission trip and was able to do everything from plumbing to sheetrocking.

It was a perfect day for walking. I am ready to go back to my Miracle Mornings. I can’t believe how different I feel not doing that. I’m achy, lethargic, yucky feeling. I’m playing my internet games too much and wasting time that I don’t really have to waste.  We have 3 groups coming in back to back in the next week and a half. For me this means making sure I have packets ready and updated, a newsletter, plus sewing bowlholders, baking potato warmers, tortilla warmers, embroidering, etc. So chip chop chip I say to myself!!

Made a quick trip to Arkansas by way of Topeka and back. Thankfully I was able to take a roomette both ways so I didn’t feel totally run down. The train was packed both ways so let’s hope they don’t discontinue Amtrak. Interesting happening on the way home. About 6:30 am on Friday morning they were calling for medical personnel to the dining car. Wasn’t sure what was going on but it sounded serious. (Sometimes it means they are arresting someone for smoking or being disruptive or that someone is ill.) About an hour later I went to the dining car for breakfast. I sat next to the lady who actually revived the man in the dining car who had a heart attack and was DEAD!! She was calmly eating breakfast with her kids like it was no biggy! I think she did receive a free breakfast but I’m hoping she will get a free train ride!!! Wow.

She was a nurse practitioner and was very helpful to me regarding some questions about my Mom. The one thing I have got to do is put my Mom in God’s hands and let it all be. It doesn’t really matter what my input is anyway. I don’t know what all is wrong with her and all I want is her to be able to have peaceful days, sleep as much as she wants and not have the urge to go to the bathroom so much. It always takes me a few days to get emotionally back on track when I get back from seeing her. We had a good visit but almost fell to the ground trying to get her off of the commode which was horrifying. That part of helping her now is out of the picture since the facility nurse asked all of us to stop helping her with her bathroom needs. We’ll see how the next few weeks play out but each day I will put her in God’s hands.

Enjoyed seeing Billie and Gkids. We actually had a fun evening of hamburgers and playing air hockey and pool and pinball machines. Sadly Kyler’s bicycle was stolen from the pool a couple of days ago. Denny called the bike shop and bought him another right away because it is very important and good for him to have a bicycle. He also has a super strong lock so that will be impossible to cut hopefully.

Wondering why son KC isn’t talking to me. Always have to deal with that emotion during the Topeka visit. Jeez.

That’s it for now.