Just home from my first try at Tai Chi. A visual, mental, balancing, relaxing, using earth’s energy to move exercise. It sounds deep and I will never be a Master but it’s another way of strengthening my body and mind as this aging process catches up to me. It is easy for me to visualize many of the concepts which helps, but also applying some of the movements to everyday life will be interesting. I know it looks like I am taking on a lot of activities this year, but my goal is to begin this season in a healthier way. Usually by Memorial Day I am all about caffeine, Pepsi, sugar and that continues through October. I don’t want to do that again, so trying these other options I hope will keep me energized. We shall see.
Last weekend was my month of Miracle Morning, facial routine and exercising. Due to the possibility of flooding and Denny being away, etc. I used that as an excuse to drink Pepsi, not get up early and no reading. Guess what, by Friday I felt like shit. Unmotivated, unfocused, bloated, playing my Iphone games. I missed my sense of well being and productiveness. So…this morning I was up 6:15. Rode my exercise bike, read my Circle of Prayer book and another chapter of one of Gary Bridges books. I’m looking forward to reading his other books. They are all set in our area and that makes it fun. I will continue one more month of the facial routine and we’ll see if there is significant improvement of my flaws! There are no more Pepsi’s in the house and I know not to carry Pepsi for our little refrigerator of pop that we sell. Maybe some of Tai Chi’s chakras will take some of these crazy cravings that I have away.
It was an interesting week regarding the threat of flooding in our area. THANKFULLY our park did not flood. I do believe the original builders of this park engineered it so the river would not flood. This would have the storm that would have done it. Many other areas up and down river did flood. The river was very exciting to watch though. Huge rapids, very loud roar, and it was soooo fast. Some of you have been here and you know that it is really a creek and very shallow.
Mother’s Day weekend. I actually feel pretty good this Mother’s Day. Believe me, there have been many that I actually have gone into some depressions over. But…I’m done with the feelings of what ifs, what could have been, if I would have done this or that, etc. My kids are now 40 and 35 and are living their lives. Since Billie was 1, she traveled the journey of divorces, alcoholism, recovering, saw things she shouldn’t have, heard things she shouldn’t have with me. Do I wish I had made intelligent choices instead of risky choices? You bet. The saddest part of all of those decisions was when I lost custody of KC for a few years. Talk about failure as a mother. (I was able to have custody again after I was sober) But…. did I know that I was suffering from depression, self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, running from mistakes, moving hoping it would fix something, changing jobs because I was upset, getting hyper and making decisions in a manic mode. There was a lot I didn’t know but I realize now. Thankfully the kids were able to see me sober from the time I was 33 on. Was I perfect because I sobered up? Far from it but there were no drugs, cigarettes or alcohol in the home. This year feels like a Happy Mother’s day. Not so much for my own mom. She is 97 and is tired of being on this earth. It’s a helpless feeling because she is fairly healthy. Her heart keeps beating, her mind is still working but she is weak when it comes to getting around. What does one say to her? The last time I saw her when my brother was sick, I said “I know you are tired and want to go, but give me a day’s notice!”. She laughed. I can always make her laugh. I may fly and see her for a quick trip. I hope she can feel somewhat happy on Mother’s Day this year?
Busy day today finishing some bowl holder orders and a pillowcase. My friend Judy is in town and we are going to drive Taos for the day. May have to hit the quilt shop there but I have made a vague promise not to purchase any fabric. We’ll see. Business really picks up next weekend and then is non stop until October. Whoo Hoo!
That’s it for now. Peace and relax.
jbirdworld 
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