11 Dec

Back from a windblown walk. So many thoughts were literally blowing around in my head. I lost another friend yesterday. I am sad today, I have on one of her beautiful bracelets that she made for me. Her husband was sooooo sad and heartbroken when he called me yesterday. I was hoping to see her one more time. We did have dinner right before we left in November and I am so glad we did. Maybe she knew there wouldn’t be one more time.
One more time, one more time, one more day, maybe tomorrow, January 1st I’ll start exercising, excuses, excuses, excuses everyday to not be the best that we can be each day. Sometimes my best for a day isn’t good enough for me anymore. I’m done wasting thoughts on life issues I have no control over!!! Worries about life that others aren’t worrying about, so why do I?????? But….I do mourn for lost friends, relatives, terrorist victims, people who pass away that no one knows about, …. Four friends and relatives are beginning their journey this week of mourning. Doug’s mother passed away last weekend. He tirelessly took care of her for many years. My wonderful nephew’s 64 yr old mother passed away in her sleep Sunday. I met her for the first time Saturday night at his daughters Christmas performance. My friend Micky’s son decided life was enough and committed suicide on Tuesday, then my friend Mary K passing away yesterday.(I loved she was an initial person too!) I am mourning for all of them today. I was upset that the day after San Bernadino that the National Christmas tree lighting happened, like that was yesterday, this is today. No, I felt like that as a nation we really didn’t really care. When events like these happen, my mind goes in overload and screams, “What can I do, what can I do, WHAT CAN I DO!!!!!!! Sometimes I can do something, sometimes I can’t. I wanted to send condolence cards to all of the families of the victims and injured. Their children, I can’t even bear those thoughts.
Sooooo.. what I can do is honor those who are in mourning. Send a card. Donate to their charity. Help if they will let me.
When I told someone yesterday about Mary K passing away, their reply was “Oh.” That’s it. “Oh.” I hope if I pass away that there is more of reply than “Oh”.
I am beginning my new journey today of being the best I can for that day. I still am able to write, sew, work, create, love, hate, walk, travel, be with family and friends,. I am still alive.


3 Responses to “Mourning”

  1. duartlingo 12/11/2015 at 1:12 pm #

    I just read something that I think will help with a lot of our problems. “do something today that your future self will thank you for”.

  2. Ruth 12/11/2015 at 1:18 pm #

    J….I am so sorry there have been so many losses of friends and family in your world 😦
    You are a breath of fresh air and ray of sunshine to all who know you. Thank you for ALL that you and Denny do !!!! I have personally been touched by your love and generosity (and Denny’s) I do understand the heartache of wanting to fix things we cannot. I love the way you think; get involved; and keep on truckin’ in the worst of times and the best πŸ™‚
    I ❀ you and thank you from the bottom of my heart πŸ™‚
    Again….so very sorry for your losses πŸ’”
    I am always available with a shoulder to lean or an ear to listen.

  3. Jacque 12/11/2015 at 2:24 pm #

    Jay, your heart is in the right place. You have a very caring nature and that , my friend, is a GOOD thing!

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