Just tidbits

16 May

Had a good day at the park. We have a group, some monthlies and over nighters in. The season is on.
I’ve decided I hate Mother’s Day. Every year it is a reminder of what I feel is my biggest failure. There’s so much more I could have been as a mommy, but I didn’t. I caused many issues for my kids. I do find them both very interesting and capable of getting through life. Maybe that is the only thing I was able to really teach them?? I don’t know.
Have been battling my depression and think I will up my dosage again on my anti depressants. Tired of my thoughts. Still very sad for Billie and the kids. Cade is really struggling and even though my prayers have been far and few between, I am going to say a prayer everyday, (and so is my friend Ginny) that Cade finds 1 friend to hang out with.
I have eaten 22 drumsticks in the last 2 1/2 weeks.
Drove to Pueblo today to fabric store, Hobby Lobby and JoAnn’s. Bought some nice fabric for the back of my wall hanging I made last week. I have these carved bears for sale and I bought some little objects to spruce them up. Plastic honey suckles, fishing pole, 4th of July spinners. I think they’ll make them more fun.
Tomorrow is pillowcase sewing day. Trying to stay focused. We have a pancake breakfast in the morning for the Weekend Warriors. We are hoping Dale is up to the task. He is in quite a bit of discomfort due to a sacrilyac issue. I can step in if he isn’t up to it but it makes Denny nervous because of the melting of the pancake squirter I did last year. (did I already talk about that?)
Just one more thing. I am very lucky to have great friends and during an extremely emotional morning a couple of days ago, Nancy and Ginny came down and talked with me. Everybody needs someone in their lives that will listen. I want that so much for Cade. He’s a great young man and losing Daddy is just too much for him to handle right now.

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