Nurse Jbird, cont’d

The wound changing saga continues.  Yesterday we went to the wound care clinic to have things checked out. I can’t believe that someone can work around wounds all the time.  I guess some of them can be HUGE. Billie’s is a little bigger than a golf ball and 5 ml deep.  The decision was made yesterday to do a skin graft.  Not quite sure when it will happen, but fairly quickly.  apparently this wound could take at least 2 months to heal.  The skin graft will make it heal faster barring any further infections. Today we both screamed during the  changing of the bandages.  That was a first.  Some changes are a little more dramatic than others.

Yesterday we took a little break and went to see Breaking Dawn part II.  Unfortunately, I had been having a back spasm all day so when we got to the movie, I took a muscle relaxer.  It made me soo drowsy that I slept through half the movie and also had a big craving for a bag of starburst.  I did manage to stumble down to snack bar and get a bag, but these are sooo bad for me and they make me itch.  We made it home, Billie driving of course, and Kyle had a heating pad on the bed for me all warmed up.  I climbed into bed then and stayed there until this morning.  It did the trick and I”m  moving around better today.

They had a busy night with Grandma Birdie in bed.  I woke up to the Christmas tree up and decorated.  It’s very pretty.  Billie loves to decorate for the holiday.

Denny brought us in some homemade stew. We also have homemade veggie soup and someone brought chili last night.  That makes dinner time so easy.

My physical therapy on my feet continues.  Will be interesting  to see how it feels soon.  So far the therapy feels pretty good but no difference regarding how long I can stand or walk.  She thinks I should feel a difference next week.

Justin is handling is physical therapy and the kids are holding up nicely.

 

Nurse Jbird

Whew. I am doing something I thought I would never be able to do.  I am changing the dressing on Billies infected incision.  It is a butt pucker, let me tell you.  It is very painful and queasy for Billie.  She takes a pain pill 30 minutes before and a nausea pill.  Today, I freaked.  The packing was a little dry and when I pulled it out a pool of blood goes rolling down her back.  As soon as I got it repacked I was on the phone with the hospital nurse.  She said it was okay but we are both happy that we are going to the wound care clinic tomorrow.  I may be fired!! I hope not.

Justin started his physical therapy today and once he gets better mobility he’ll have his surgery, approximately 4 weeks. I am now staying with Billie at her house.  Billie and I sleep in the bed and Justin is in the recliner.

I have started my physical therapy on my feet.  I’ve actually resorted to using the electric carts at stores so I don’t have to walk so far. It does help. Today I had to pick up little balls with my feet and move them and scrunch towels with my toes.  Now why that has made my feet feel like hell, I don’t know.  So all in all, Billie, Justin and I are in a totally decrepid household.

The kids are handling it.  Miss Elliott is just pretty darn fun.  She has her moments, but all in all she is very easy to watch.

Good news today. Juli gets to come home to Arkansas for Christmas!!! That is such happy news.  I hope we’ll be able to go down and spend a day with her.  Mom says her home health physical therapist is wearing her out but he’s trying to make her legs stronger.

I can’t remember if I have written this, but, because of all of the family issues I am now closer to sisters, niece, grandkids and Billie and I are finally spending some time together that we have always wanted to do.  Blessings among the chaos.

Stormont Vail Hospital

I’m set up for my 3rd night staying with my daughter at the hospital.  She came in during the middle of the night Thursday with a fever and an infection in her incision from the removal of a melanoma last Monday.  She has a staph infection and they had to lance open the incision and it will have to be packed twice a day for awhile.  She is here until Tuesday as of now.  She is feeling better but there are all sorts of precautions that go along with these infections.

Her husband will be having knee surgery we hope this week, so as you can tell lots going on.  Their friends have really helped a lot with food, cleaning, laundry and helping with the kids.  Justin has injured both knees so he is laid up but as of now he is able to use a walker and he has all 3 kids with him.  His family has been great helping him out there.

That’s it for now.

Should I share, should I not share

It’s 4 am, I love the sound of the wind, it’s my first night home in a few days. It’s been a horrible few days. I’m tired, I’m sad, I feel hopeless then I feel hopeful, then I cry, then I become paralyzed, then I become tired, then I feel empowered, then I feel like the issues are bigger than me and I can’t handle it, then I don’t know what direction to turn, do I pray, do I accept prayers, who do I talk to, who do I not talk to, are there more lies I don’t know about, can I ever, ever, ever, ever have a relationship with my son, can I even believe what I  heard him say to me tonight because it was so insane and he is screaming at me because I should agree with what he thinks is rational and in reality it is so insane that it scares me, will I be able to stand my ground, will I be able to function on a day to day basis for these next few days, weeks, months, can I not collapse under it all, will I feel joy again, will my heart take it instead of make me feel like at times I’m going to die of a heart attack because my chest hurts so much from the stress, that at times my head hurts so bad that it scares me,  I don’t know. I may not be able to write for awhile.

Stars and Planets all out of alignment

I like to use that term of stars being out of alignment  when I feel like things going on around me are f@#$%^ up.  Of course, I always feel that out of bad things come good things and once again I feel like that can happen.

We have begun our next little mission and this time it is close to home. While we were at my Mom’s Friday night, Billie called at 11 pm and told me that Justin had an accident.  He tore ACL’s in both knees and broke bones in one leg.  We’ll know more on Tuesday when he goes for consult with surgeon.  Many prayers are needed for Billie and her family.  It’s overwhelming at the moment and Denny and I and Justin’s family are all around to help with whatever is needed.  Billie is strong but this is going to be a long several weeks for her and the kids and trying to have a sense of normalcy.

I will also be with Billie on Monday while she has the Mose procedure done on her right shoulder to remove lentigomaligna, a melanoma which is at 0 stage.  They will remove it layer by layer. Even though it will be numbed at the time, I think it may hurt later on.  We are so thankful it was caught early. She actually went in to have something else checked and the doctor noticed this odd shaped freckle.

It is so painful when our families are going through hard times.  My heart goes into overload when my kids are struggling or sad or feeling hopeless.  I am so glad that I have a husband who hangs in there with all the issues we have had hit us these last few months. To try and do this without his support would be doubly painful.

The next thing I have to do is start taking care of myself health wise.  I find it an excuse to drink too much caffeine, drink too much Pepsi, eat too much candy and chips when life around me is chaotic.  Today I begin the cleanse.  I can’t be of help when I feel like shit because I ate chips, drank a pepsi and a full box of Jujubes at 2 am in the morning. (Which I did last night). We are here for the month, I am calling Turquoise Valley today to inform that I can’t work this year.

Some of this will be good.  I’ll be able to be Grandma Birdie and spend more time with the kids.  Main goal is to take care of Elliott and have dinner ready for Billie and her family so when she comes home from work she doesn’t have to deal with anything.  I hope that Justin can have his surgery soon but I know sometimes they have to wait due to swelling.

I believe in 2nd chances, I believe that bad events can turn into life changing occurances, I believe that Billie and her little family will come out of this stronger.  I just have to work on not letting my heart get too heavy and sad so that I can be strong for them.

I have updated Huffington Post articles, Madison and Juli pages.

Good news notes: #1 We were able to get a recliner for Mom that has the electric button and also will go forward to help her get up out of it. She was happy as a clam.  When we left yesterday afternoon, she was getting ready to take a nap in it. #2 Picked up the puppies from Ruth..  Even though Jumper was on the stinky side, we were all happy to see each other.  Right now Jumper is sleeping on my head and all is right with the world at this moment.    Peace

Holiday Island, AR

My mom is home.  She arrived around 6 last night.  My sister Jolene and Bob took on the task of moving her back, getting home health set up, lowereing beds, etc.  We arrived about 4:15.  She was sitting in the living room and told us about her busy day.  Social work nurse came by and her physical therapist.  She will continue some home health things for awhile.  Mainly to help be able to do those things we don’t even think twice about, like putting on shoes and socks, learning how to bend over in a new way, and all of those types of things.  She said everyone was sooo happy to see her back and I don’t think it will take her long to get reacclimated.  We are all very happy for her and proud she has recovered so well. 

It was about an 8 hour drive from Paducah.  All fairly scenic, curvy roads. We did stop in Mountain Home at a quilt store.  One of Denny’s previous customers used to own it and they would come to Topeka to buy their motorcycles.  She has since sold it to someone else and it was a very nice store.  Purchased something called Quilt notecards.  Kind of a fun projects where you quilt a scene and then attach it to a postcard and mail it.  I like that idea. Most of my  starting out projects will be on the small side for now.

We made a hard decision today.  We will not be heading to Arizona now.  Too many stars are out of alignment for the time being.  Not that we won’t maybe go at a later time, but not in December. I dread making the phone call to tell them I won’t be able to work at the pro shop, I know they have been shorthanded and have counted on me coming, but maybe it will give someone else a chance to work.  First thing I’m going to do Monday is get some physical therapy set up for my feet.  Also going to get my stomach straigtened out, so all is not terrible and hopefully we’ll get to Naco down the road.  It’s such a 2nd home and so many friends down there, it was hard to make the decision.

That’s it for today.  Tomorrow we are taking Mom to Berryville to get a new recliner for her that has electric buttons and will be easier for her to get in and out of.  Then we should be able to head for home.

Paducah, KY

Denny are on our way to Holiday Island, AR by way of Paducah, KY.  Main reason to be here was to visit the Quilt Museum.  What a fabulous museum, (I know, most of you know that I hate museums), but this was different.  I didn’t have to read a lot of stuff.  I just had to admire true works of art in the way of quilts.  Even Denny thought it was interesting.  I did purchase a couple of quilt books but nothing else.  We stopped at Hancock’s which is a gigantic fabric store.  Never have been in one so big.  I didn’t purchase any material because I already have 2 projects to work on, but my creative juices were out of control and it took a couple of hours to get my heart to quit racing.

Our 4 days in Gatlinburg was fun.  The place we stayed in was so perfect for everyone.  You won’t believe this but today was the first time I had even stepped outside since Monday. I almost had cabin pallor.  I was totally content to just stay inside, stay off of my feet and work on the puzzles and play cards.  We finished 4 500 piece puzzles and Claire, Marsha and Cinda will probably finish the 1000 piece puzzle today.  Had 1 night I was up unitl 2 and 1 night up until 1.  Claire also stayed up late with me. The group did go on the zipline and thouroughly enjoyed it. I stayed home.. But…my friend Judy is going to set us up a zipline tour in Hawaii while we are there in January. This cabin we stayed in also had a theatre room.  Seating for 8.  We watched “Snow White and the Huntsman”.  Actually a pretty good movie. We were on our way this morning at 9 and we gained an hour which we liked.  I once again had another stomach episode last night with hives included.  Have decided I need to stay away from beef for awhile because it always happens after I eat the beef. Card game total: Brad-Lawrence 6  J-Noreen 2 or 3. Can’t remember. I have known Noreen for 4 years now and I still call her Claire.  I hate that I do that.

Looking forward to seeing my Mom tomorrow. I’m assuming that as of now-6:30 pm- Jolene has moved her back home.  This morning I talked to Jolene and there were a couple of unknowns but it did seem like that they were going to release her today.  I’m sure she is a little nervous about being on her own again, but we think she will be fine.   I think we will be there mid afternoon tomorrow.

Nothing else earthshattering going on.  Looking forward to getting home.   Cannot believe that next week is Thanksgiving.  We plan on having our family over.  Billie has to work so it will be an evening meal. Also next weekend I get to go see “Breaking Dawn Part 2”.  I also want to see “Lincoln”.

Missing the puppies. I think Ruth has had her hands full with them so she will be glad to give them back.  She said that Meeko and Cosmo butt heads a lot and have to go to timeout a few times.  Of course Jumper is totally innocent.

Stars are a little out of alignment again but my mojo is still strong.

Gatlinburg, TN

I’m a day behind.  Yesterday was full of yakkin’, eatin’, runnin’ around, playin’ cards, workin’ on a jigsaw puzzles, et.

We arrived here late Sunday afternoon from Bryson City.  It was a beautiful drive over the Great Smokies. There were 2 traffic jams due to cars pulling over for bear viewing. We didn’t stop. Wow.  It is also a totally different set of cultures.  Bryson side very laid back, quaint-Gatlinburg full of tourists, zillions of shops, etc.  I had no idea.  Sometimes I’m surprised how little I know about various parts of our country.  Claire and Rolly found this place that is a row of condos along the ridge of town.  Beautiful views.  Our “cabin” could actually sleep 25 if needed. It’s 3 floors with 4 couples on the top and then wrap around porches on 2 levels. The main floor has a huge kitchen with 3 really long tables, a long bar and a sitting area with tv.  We have one table set up with jigsaw puzzles.  Another one we have set up for cards. It’s really perfect for a big group. Yesterday morning Claire, Cinda, Marsha and I drove all around the area so we could see what was available to do. We drove part way up the Parkway and it was so beautiful.  The leaves were all swirling around and you could see the stream flowing. It was very windy but warm.  The forecast said it was going to really rain all day, but it didn’tWe saw some cars pulling over, so, we parked and walked down the road to see what was happening.  2 big black bears.  One was walking around and the other was sitting on a big granite stone.  He was was huge.  We were quite a way from them, but it was fun for my friends because they had never seen a bear.  . When we got home, 4 of us played Spades for 4 hours! It was really fun because we added a little edge to it so it became very competitive between the men and women. The men, Brad and Lawrence are 2 up on Noreen and I. We had a big group dinner. Claire had premade to big pans of Lasagna so it was a pretty easy meal I think to prepare. I was useless because I was working on the jigsaw puzzle.  Everyone went to bed around 10 and I stayed up until 12:30  making some cookies and working on puzzle.

Today is a big day for some of us.  We are doing a zipline ride.  I don’t think any of us have done it before.  Of course the awful story of the girl ziplining in Georgia who got  some awful infection after being cut by the zip line and then having half her body amputated is on all of our minds, but hopefully that won’t happen to any of us. That’s it for today.

Bryson City, NC

Have any of you been on the Tail of the Dragon, also known as Hwy. 129 in North Carolina.  It is hairpin turns, hilly, not guard rails, treelined and about 27 miles.  I know several of our friends, including Denny have ridden their motorcycles on that road. Yesterday we were the ol’ fogies that had to keep pulling over to let cars and motorcycles go by. That felt a little weird for us.  Lots of motorcyclists were racing around both directions.  A business venture of photographers set up on various curves.  They would take your photo as you come around and then I assume you go on their website and purchase of photo.  Why they took our photo every time, I’ll never know.  Like I really want to see a photo of us driving our truck on a road???

We arrived at the Calhoun House in Bryson City around 4.  What a wonderful Inn and it was fun listening to Ed tell us how they did the various remodels.  It was built in the 1920’s and is 2 stories.  Wrap around porches with many rocky chairs. Their view is of the little town and of the beautiful tree filled mountains. We just missed the fall colors. The rooms are on the top floor and they live downstairs.  We can hear the scenic trains whistles. They have also built a cabin that will open later. Our suite is the Movie Suite. Lots of memorablia, fireplace, full kitchen, wonderful bed, 2 tv’s. Good planning on their part as they don’t have to serve breakfast.  Key codes on the doors so no need for them to have to stay around 24/7. Pretty smart planning.   Last night we had dinner at a cafe that actually had gluten free crepes!!  Their son Mark joined us. He has a cool business venture too.  He designs tourist maps.  Really impressive.  We’ll use the one he designed for the Gatlinburg area.  We chatted with Ed for a couple of hours. He always gets me wound up and I talk way too much and too fast.  Ed went to pick up his wife Shirley at the airport, so we settled in our room and watch KState win again.  I have been going to sleep sooo early the last few nights.  9:30 last night.

Plan today is to walk around Bryson City and then head to Gatlinburg this afternoon.  Our check in time is 4 pm.  Anxious to see everyone and have a fun week.  One downer is it looks like the rain is heading our way a little sooner than we thought.  More time for card games and yakkin’.  Knitting clubhead covers so maybe I’ll get a few of them done.

Happy Sunday everyone.

Sometimes it’s seems petty to blog when there are many tragedies going on

I just finished reading the paper and of course there is the Patreaus affair, a disabled lady raped on a city bus, a 17 year old girl who lost both parents in Hurricane Sandy when a tree crashed on their truck. She is now trying to take care of her 3 brothers and sisters. It goes on and on.  I remember when I used to go to a therapist, which I did off and on for many years, she would say I had existentialism anxiety.  At one point in my life I would join everything group that was trying to save the world. (Have I convinced you yet that I am seriously nuts yet after just a couple of months of blogging?) I would volunteer, donate, send money, just to ease my anxiety.  I am not quite as anxious but still can get wound up.  I’ve now been able to know what I can do and can’t and thankfully have been able to lead a few mission trips to disasters and do what I can the rest of the time.

So back to trivial things.  Denny and I are truly enjoying our trip.  Playing golf at Kenny Perry’s Country Creek GC has been on our list for a few years. To finally make it there was great. It is truly made out of farm country, lots of hills, trees and several barns on the property.  A very friendly pro shop which I always like.  We were talking to Gene, the pro shop guy and was told that Kenny does come there a lot but that morning he had a grandaughter born. After purchasing a couple of hats and then picking out some things for my golf tourney, he actually donated some autographed hats and golf ball.  How frickin’ cool is that!!!! Denny actually played well, me so so, but it didn’t matter because it was a beautiful fall day for golf. Next we headed for dinner at the Longhorn Steakhouse where I had the best ribeye and sweet potato. Lots of times I’m disappointed with restaurant steaks, but this one was so tender and juicy and I so wished I could have picked it up and gnawed on the bone. (I did this once while eating out and Denny still hasn’t forgiven me). Then we decided to call it a day and found a room at Holiday Inn Express in Franklin, KY.  I love Holiday Inn Express. They have big rooms and beds.

I have had a strange year of premonitions.  I think of something and then it happens, or I see the person, or I hear the song, etc.  Yesterday Denny and I were talking about a possiblity that we fantasize for our future.  I couldn’t believe it that the person who we would talk to about it called!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That deserves all of those exclamations because we hadn’t even talked about for a long time and then he calls just minutes after we yakked about it.  We’ll see what comes of that premonition.

Denny seems like he wants me to get dressed and repacked so we can head on to our next stop.  We are going to Bryson City, NC to spend the night at Ed and Shirley’s, i.e. Scarecrow, which is on the southern edge of Great Smoky National Park. The have a big old Inn that they have refurbished.  Everytime we are with Scarecrow, something crazy happens, so we’ll see what happens this time. One time, he and I were in a golf cart and lost traction on a wet hill.  We were flying backward down the hill heading for impending death because there was a creek at the bottom of the hill. Somehow, he was able to finally stop the cart right before we crashed.  I can remember us both looking at each other like “Whew”!!!!!

Feet are feeling better.  Thank you Jesus.  I said a huge prayer yesterday to please not let this foot issue get the best of me.